The girl next door!

I can tell you exactly where I was when I heard the news. I remember all the details of that moment. And that feeling of unbelief, followed by pure sadness.

I'm sure most of us have experienced something similar to this in life. I recall my mom telling me about where she was when she learned that JFK was shot and killed and detailing that day as if it had just happened. The same applies to September 11, 2001. While those events are significant, it's the things close to home that seem to resonate within the soul.

April 3, 2014

My children sat at the bar. My oldest was working on his math homework. I was on the phone with my husband as he drove home from work. I looked out the sliding glass door as my neighbor came across the backyard, dressed in his church attire. He knocked on the door and asked me if I’d heard about next door. I said no. His response, “be prepared for a bomb!” I hushed my husband and told him he had to hear this. “Katie and Taylor were driving home from their grandpas house, they were hit and both of them were killed.” All I could say was “no!”

But IT was real. I wandered out into the backyard holding the phone but just silence echoed on the other end. I had a million thoughts going through my brain. How do we tell the kids? Maybe they already heard. What do we do? And then I began to reflect on their family.

In the weeks before the accident I started noticing our next door neighbors more. I had a strong impression to be a better neighbor be a little more friendly, more outgoing and be a little more involved with them. And although I had good intentions, things just never seemed to fall into place the way I had planned.
Now, that impression I had feels like a bad tattoo and my desire to do more for my neighbors has increased because even though they may not have known it, they have done so much for me.

Taylor was always so nice, he waved at everyone. He would stop whatever he was doing to wave. It was something I looked forward to everyday as I pulled into my driveway.  In the morning as I would leave to take my oldest to school he would wait at the edge of my driveway and make sure that all the kids waiting at the bus stop were safe. As the weather got warmer I would often hear the sound of a basketball against the cement as Taylor practiced his shooting and dribbling. My boys would run outside and my 4 year old would say “I’m going to play with my friend, Taylor.” Twelve year old Taylor would smile and wave to me and say “they can stay out here, I’ll watch them.” I would even find him assisting my little four year old to make baskets.

Katie was 16. She was really pretty and popular. You could tell she was the life of the party. My boys loved having her babysit them. We often called her over last minute to sit with the kids. She was fun and ALWAYS smiling. She was the first non-family member that we allowed to watch our baby girl. My daughter was just 5 months at the time and as a 15 year old, Katie reassured me as we went out the door that everything would be fine.

Over a year has passed since I listened to the calming words of Katie tell me that everything would be fine but, over the last month, those words have carried me through many sleepless nights. And just like I could always depend on Taylor to wave as we drove by, there is no doubt that he is still watching over my kids.

I hope that others can depend on me to reassure them in times of need.
I hope I can be more like the girl next door!

A mean girl!

I was once told by a girl that I looked just like Regina George from "Mean Girls". I took it as a compliment because who doesn't want to look like Rachel McAdams. As I reflect back on that comment, there might have been more to it and maybe my resemblance was merely a reflection of my attitude being much more like Regina's than I want it to be.

I know I can be judgmental at times. It's a major flaw and I'm working on it. The strange part is I'm also very laid back. Sometimes I say things and then once I've said it I move on because in reality, things don't really bother me that much. But other people might not move on so quickly. I'm sorry!

Just the other day I realized I really am a mean girl.

I had recently returned from maternity leave. I was giving report to a girl that had started working with me just prior to having my baby. Anyway, the day was difficult and as I was giving report there were a few things that needed to be checked up on. The girl was super rude to me about it. I figured that she was super pretty and probably didn't want to do more than she had to.  I let it slide off my back because she was still new and I didn't really care. Well, this happened the next few times we exchanged report. Did I mention that she is super pretty? I assumed that because she was so pretty, she probably got into nursing school, and didn't really care about the job or anyone else and it was just a paycheck for her. I know, it probably sounds like she is the mean girl. And that was pretty much my thought process on her until last week.

I just switched to working nights and now I was working with this girl. I'm easy going and get along with most people but had never taken the time to get to know her based on our previous encounters. Well, the conversation was about cancer because sadly, our jobs kind of revolve around this stuff. She mentioned how much she hates cancer and I agreed. Well, at least we had one thing in common. Somehow, the conversation progressed and she started telling me how her husband died from cancer. I was shocked. She is so young, has a little boy that's 2.It just didn't seem possible or fair. I didn't ask many questions. But I came home and looked at her Facebook page. I found a link to her blog. I began reading it and it was so sad. This girl who I was probably not real nice to had been through more than I can imagine.

At the time she started working with me she was just getting back on her feet from all of this. I pretty much felt like a jerk. The next time I worked with her I apologized and we bonded over other things. I learned that she's a great girl.  I also learned not to judge a book by it's cover.

So, next time someone seems like a brat. I'll probably let it slide off my back a little quicker and find out if they need a friend or if they are really just a mean girl.